母爱的奇迹TheMiracleofMothersLove
佚名
Anonymous
Withalltheenergythatonlyalayfulthree-year-oldcanhave,CaitlinHedgesclambersoverhermumTrishandtugsatherarmforattention。As37-year-oldTrishticklesher,Caitlincollasesinfitsofgiggles。
JustthefactthattheyaresittingintheirlivingroominPeterboroughisamiracle-becausefouryearsago,Trishhadtomakeaterriblechoice。Shewassufferingfromcancerandbeingtreatedwithchemotheray。Ifshecontinuedthetreatment,Caitlinwouldhavetobeaborted。IfTrishchosetohaveCaitlinandstothechemotheray,shewastoldshewouldrobablydie。
“Itmustbeeverymothersnightmaretomakethatchoice,”saysTrish,37,“buttherewasnocontest。Ideseratelywantedthischildtolive,evenifitmeantsacrificingmyownlife。Isntthateverymothersinstinct?”
Trish,aformerchemist,wasdiagnosednon-Hodgkinslymhoma,acancerofthelymhglands,in1995andbythattimethediseasehadsreadthroughoutherbody。
Aftermorethanayearofchemotheray,Trishwasinartialremissionbutthetreatmenthadntworkedaswellasdoctorshadhoed。ShewasgivenabreakwhileexertsdecidedwhattreatmenttotrynextandsheandPaultookaholidayinTurkey。Whilethere,theysottedaairofgoldweddingringsandboughtthemonthesurofthemoment。
“Marriagewassomethingwedalwaystalkedabout,”saysTrish。“webothknewwedgetmarriedoneday,butthiswasthefirststetomakingithaen。”
However,whentheyarrivedhometheirweddinglanshadtobeutonhold。Trishdiscoveredanotherlumanddoctorsdecidedtotryamoreaggressivecourseofchemotheray。
Butbeforeitbegan,Trishwasdeseratetofindoutwhethershecouldhavechildrenornot。Shewentfortestsbuttheyshowedthehormonelevelsinherbloodweresolowthatitwouldbeimossibletoconceive。“Strangelyenough,thenewsdidntbotherme,”shesays,“EventhoughthedoctorstoldmeIwouldneverhavechildren,Ifounditimossibletobelieve。”
Severalweekslater,thechemotheraystartedbutaftertwoweeksTrishfeltstrangelydifferent。Itwasnothingsecificbutherbodywastellinghersomethinghadchanged。Onawhim,shedecidedtodoahomeregnancytest。
“ItwastwomonthssinceIhadbeentoldIwouldneverhavechildren,butIjusthadafeeling,”saysTrish。“LogictoldmeIcouldntbe,butthetestwasositive。Iwashavingababy-ourbaby。ItwasthebestnewsIhadheardinyears。AlltheaindisaearedandallIcouldthinkaboutwasthenewlifewhichwasgrowinginsidemeandmymaternalinstincttorotectit。”
“Ididntthinkaboutthecancer,thechemotherayoranythingelseexcetourchild。Thatwasuntilthedoctorissuedmewithanultimatum。”Trishcouldcontinuewithhercancertreatmentbutitwouldmeanabortingherchild。Orshecouldstothetreatment,carryonwiththeregnancyandallowthecancertosread。
“Therewasnotamomentshesitationforme,”saysTrish。“IknewtherewasariskbutIutitoutofmymind。Deedown,IknowPaulwasworriedsickaboutmebuthealsoknewhowmuchIwantedthisbaby-webothdid。”
“Mydecisionwaserhashardestformymumanddad-Iwastheirlittlegirlandtheyweresoafraidoflosingme。IwouldhavegivenumylifeformybabyandIknowtheywouldhavedonejustthesameforme。”
Luckily,Trishsailedthroughherregnancywithnocomlications。“IhadmoreenergyandvitalitythanIhadhadinyears。Ifdoctorscouldhaverescribedaerfectmedicineformycancer,regnancywouldhavebeenit。Itwasa10-hourlabourbutIdidnttakeanygasorainkillers-Idrathergivebirthto10babiesinarowthangothroughonesessionofchemotheray。”AndOnMay8,1998,CaitlinwasbornsafeandwellandTrishwasstillinartialremission。Fivemonthslater,though,Trishdiscoveredanotherlumonherneck-helymhomawasback。
“Iwasterrified,”shesays。“ItwasntjustmeIwasthinkingabout,itwasCaitlin。IwassoafraidthatIwouldntbearoundforher。Howwouldshemanagewithoutamum?”
Trishstartedanothercourseofchemotheray。Withababytocarefor,itwasgruellingbutafteronlysixweeksTrishwasfreeofthecancer。
“Icouldntbelieveit,”shesays。“Afterallthosemonthsofchemotheray,Iwasamazedthatthistimeithadworkedsoquickly。Ifeltsolucky。Idbeengivenafreshchanceatlife。”
Thecancerhadbeenbeaten,butTrishsbattleswerefarfromover。“Thechemotherayhadleftmewithterriblejointroblems,”shesays。“Iwascriledwithainandmybodywasstillsotiredfromthechemotheray。Lookingafterababywasaconstantstruggle。Ifeltincrediblyguilty,likeIwaslettingCaitlindown。IwantedhersomuchbutattimesIcouldntevenbathher,letalonelaywithher。”
ThereweretimeswhenTrishwassoillshecouldntevencarryCaitlindownstairs。“Iwouldlayheracrossmylaandcomedownthestaironmybum。”
Butnow,gradually,Trishsbodyisrecovering。Itisalong,slowrocessbutsheisregainingherstrengthandthreemonthsagoTrishandPaulgotmarried-withCaitlinaschiefbridesmaid。
“Theweddingringsweboughtfiveyearsatwerebadlytarnished,”saysTrish,“buttheyolisheduwellanditswonderfulthatwegottousethematlast。Icantbelievewhatwehavecomethroughbuttheimortantthingiswehavecomethrough。”“Fouryearsago,IdidntevenknowifIdbealivetodayandIcertainlyneverdreamedIdhavesuchabeautifullittlegirl,butIverealisedjusthowreciouslifeis。CaitlinismygiftfromGodandnotadaygoesbythatImnotgratefulforthetimeIhavewithher。”
3岁的凯特琳·赫奇斯用尽她所有的力气,顽皮地爬到妈妈特里斯的身上,用力地拉着妈妈的胳膊以引起她的注意。当37岁的特里斯胳肢她时,她痒得哈哈地笑着倒了下去。
她们能像这样坐在彼德伯勒家中的起居室里真的是个奇迹。因为在四年前,特里斯不得不作一个可怕的抉择。她患上了癌症,并接受了化疗。如果她继续治疗,凯特琳·赫奇斯将会被流产。如果她选择保住凯特琳,停止化疗的话,她就可能被宣告死亡。
“要作这样的选择,一定是每位母亲最害怕的事情,”37岁的特里斯说,“但是我的心情异常平静,我极其希望这个孩子能成活,即便这意味着我自己生命的丧失。难道这不就是每位母亲的本能吗?”
在1995年,前药剂师特里斯被诊断为患非何杰金氏淋巴瘤——一种淋巴腺癌,当时她的癌细胞已经扩散到全身。
经过一年多的化疗,特里斯的病情得到了局部的缓解,但是结果并不像医生所期待的那样令人满意。在专家们决定下一步将如何尝试治疗时,特里斯也有了一段休息的时间。在这段时间里,她与保罗到土耳其一起去度假。在土耳其的那段时间里,他们看到了一对黄金的结婚戒指,当即就买了下来。
“结婚是我们经常谈论的问题,”特里斯说,“我们都知道总有一天我们会结婚的,但是结婚戒指是使它成为现实要走的第一步。”
然而,他们回来后,结婚的计划不得不向后推延。医生在特里斯的身体里发现了另一个肿块,并决定尝试更大胆的化疗程序。
可是,在新的化疗开始之前,特里斯急切地想知道她是否能有自己的孩子。于是她去作了检查,但是检查的结果显示,她血液中的激素含量太低,使她不可能怀孕。“非常奇怪的是,这一消息丝毫没有对我产生困扰,”她说,“尽管医生说我永远也不会有自己的孩子,但是我认为那是不能相信的。”
几个星期后,新的化疗程序开始了,但是两周后,特里斯有了异常的感觉。具体她也说不清,但是她的身体告诉她有了一些变化。兴致一来,她决定作个家庭怀孕测试。
“那事就发生在我被告知不能怀孕的两个月后,我就是有那么一种感觉,”特里斯说,“逻辑上讲我是不能怀孕的,可是孕检的结果是阳性。我怀孕了——是我们的孩子。这是这几年来我听到的最好的消息。一时间,所有疼痛都消失得无影无踪,我唯一能想到的就是在我体内生长的新生命,母性的本能使我不顾一切地去保护她。”
“我不再考虑癌症、化疗,以及我们孩子之外的其他任何事情,直到医生对我下了最后的通牒。”特里斯可以继续她的癌症治疗,但这将意味着她的孩子会流产;或者她选择停止治疗继续妊娠,任由癌细胞自由地扩散。
“我丝毫也没有犹豫,”特里斯说,“我知道我这样做冒着很大的危险,但是我已将它置之度外。在我的内心深处,我知道保罗为我的疾病担心,而他也知道我是多么想要这个孩子,事实上是我们两个人都很想要。”
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