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第13章 the£1000000 banknte(第1页)

kTwain

WhenIwastwenty-sevenyearsold,Iwasamining-broker&aos;sclerkinSanFrancisco,andanexertinallthedetailsofstocktraffic。Iwasaloneintheworld,andhadnothingtodeenduonbutmywitsandacleanreutation;buttheseweresettingmyfeetintheroadtoeventualfortune,andIwascontentwiththerosect。

Mytimewasmyownaftertheafternoonboard,Saturdays,andIwasaccustomedtoutitinonalittlesail-boatonthebay。OnedayIventuredtoofar,andwascarriedouttosea。Justatnightfall,whenhoewasaboutgone,IwasickedubyasmallbrigwhichwasboundforLondon。Itwasalongandstormyvoyage,andtheymademeworkmyassagewithoutay,asacommonsailor。WhenIsteedashoreinLondonmyclotheswereraggedandshabby,andIhadonlyadollarinmyocket。Thismoneyfedandshelteredmetwenty-fourhours。Duringthenexttwenty-fourIwentwithoutfoodandshelter。

Aboutteno&aos;clockonthefollowingmorning,seedyandhungry,IwasdraggingmyselfalongPortlandPlace,whenachildthatwasassing,towedbyanurse-maid,tossedalusciousbigear-minusonebite-intothegutter。Istoed,ofcourse,andfastenedmydesiringeyeonthatmuddytreasure。Mymouthwateredforit,mystomachcravedit,mywholebeingbeggedforit。ButeverytimeImadeamovetogetitsomeassingeyedetectedmyurose,andofcourseIstraighteneduthen,andlookedindifferent,andretendedthatIhadn&aos;tbeenthinkingabouttheearatall。Thissamethingkethaeningandhaening,andIcouldn&aos;tgettheear。Iwasjustgettingdeserateenoughtobravealltheshame,andtoseizeit,whenawindowbehindmewasraised,andagentlemansokeoutofit,saying:

"Steinhere,lease。

"

Iwasadmittedbyagorgeousflunkey,andshownintoasumtuousroomwhereacouleofelderlygentlemenweresitting。Theysentawaytheservant,andmademesitdown。Theyhadjustfinishedtheirbreakfast,andthesightoftheremainsofitalmostoveroweredme。Icouldhardlykeemywitstogetherintheresenceofthatfood,butasIwasnotaskedtosamleit,IhadtobearmytroubleasbestIcould。

Now,somethinghadbeenhaeningtherealittlebefore,whichIdidnotknowanythingaboutuntilagoodmanydaysafterwards,butIwilltellyouaboutitnow。Thosetwooldbrothershadbeenhavingarettyhotargumentacouleofdaysbefore,andhadendedbyagreeingtodecideitbyabet,whichistheEnglishwayofsettlingeverything。

YouwillrememberthattheBankofEnglandonceissuedtwonotesofamillionoundseach,tobeusedforasecialuroseconnectedwithsomeublictransactionwithaforeigncountry。Forsomereasonorotheronlyoneofthesehadbeenusedandcanceled;theotherstilllayinthevaultsoftheBank。Well,thebrothers,chattingalong,haenedtogettowonderingwhatmightbethefateofaerfectlyhonestandintelligentstrangerwhoshouldbeturnedadriftinLondonwithoutafriend,andwithnomoneybutthatmillion-oundbank-note,andnowaytoaccountforhisbeinginossessionofit。BrotherAsaidhewouldstarvetodeath;BrotherBsaidhewouldn&aos;t。BrotherAsaidhecouldn&aos;tofferitatabankoranywhereelse,becausehewouldbearrestedonthesot。SotheywentondisutingtillBrotherBsaidhewouldbettwentythousandoundsthatthemanwouldlivethirtydays,anyway,onthatmillion,andkeeoutofjail,too。BrotherAtookhimu。BrotherBwentdowntotheBankandboughtthatnote。JustlikeanEnglishman,yousee;lucktothebackbone。Thenhedictatedaletter,whichoneofhisclerkswroteoutinabeautifulroundhand,andthenthetwobrotherssatatthewindowawholedaywatchingfortherightmantogiveitto。

Theysawmanyhonestfacesgobythatwerenotintelligentenough;manythatwereintelligent,butnothonestenough;manythatwereboth,buttheossessorswerenotoorenough,or,ifoorenough,werenotstrangers。Therewasalwaysadefect,untilIcamealong;buttheyagreedthatIfilledthebillallaround;sotheyelectedmeunanimously,andthereIwasnowwaitingtoknowwhyIwascalledin。Theybegantoaskmequestionsaboutmyself,andrettysoontheyhadmystory。FinallytheytoldmeIwouldanswertheirurose。IsaidIwassincerelyglad,andaskedwhatitwas。Thenoneofthemhandedmeanenveloe,andsaidIwouldfindtheexlanationinside。Iwasgoingtooenit,buthesaidno;takeittomylodgings,andlookitovercarefully,andnotbehastyorrash。Iwasuzzled,andwantedtodiscussthematteralittlefurther,buttheydidn&aos;t;soItookmyleave,feelinghurtandinsultedtobemadethebuttofwhatwasaarentlysomekindofaracticaljoke,andyetobligedtoutuwithit,notbeingincircumstancestoresentaffrontsfromrichandstrongfolk。

Iwouldhaveickedutheearnowandeatenitbeforealltheworld,butitwasgone;soIhadlostthatbythisunluckybusiness,andthethoughtofitdidnotsoftenmyfeelingtowardsthosemen。AssoonasIwasoutofsightofthathouseIoenedmyenveloe,andsawthatitcontainedmoney!Myoinionofthoseeolechanged,Icantellyou!Ilostnotamoment,butshovednoteandmoneyintomyvestocket,andbrokeforthenearesteatinghouse。Well,howIdideat!WhenatlastIcouldn&aos;tholdanymore,Itookoutmymoneyandunfoldedit,tookoneglimseandnearlyfainted。Fivemillionsofdollars!Why,itmademyheadswim。

ImusthavesattherestunnedandblinkingatthenoteasmuchasaminutebeforeIcamerightlytomyselfagain。ThefirstthingInoticed,then,wasthelandlord。Hiseyewasonthenote,andhewasetrified。Hewasworshiing,withallhisbodyandsoul,buthelookedasifhecouldn&aos;tstirhandorfoot。Itookmycueinamoment,anddidtheonlyrationalthingtherewastodo。Ireachedthenotetowardshim,andsaid,carelessly:

"Givemethechange,lease。

"

Thenhewasrestoredtohisnormalcondition,andmadeathousandaologiesfornotbeingabletobreakthebill,andIcouldn&aos;tgethimtotouchit。Hewantedtolookatit,andkeeonlookingatit;hecouldn&aos;tseemtogetenoughofittoquenchthethirstofhiseye,butheshrankfromtouchingitasifithadbeensomethingtoosacredforoorcommonclaytohandle。Isaid:

"Iamsorryifitisaninconvenience,butImustinsist。Pleasechangeit;Ihaven&aos;tanythingelse。

"Buthesaidthatwasn&aos;tanymatter;hewasquitewillingtoletthetriflestandovertillanothertime。IsaidImightnotbeinhisneighborhoodagainforagoodwhile;buthesaiditwasofnoconsequence,hecouldwait,and,moreover,IcouldhaveanythingIwanted,anytimeIchose,andlettheaccountrunaslongasIleased。Hesaidhehoedhewasn&aos;tafraidtotrustasrichagentlemanasIwas,merelybecauseIwasofamerrydisosition,andchosetolaylarksontheublicinthematterofdress。Bythistimeanothercustomerwasentering,andthelandlordhintedtometoutthemonsteroutofsight;thenhebowedmeallthewaytothedoor,andIstartedstraightforthathouseandthosebrothers,tocorrectthemistakewhichhadbeenmadebeforetheoliceshouldhuntmeu,andhelmedoit。Iwasrettynervous;infact,rettybadlyfrightened,though,ofcourse,Iwasnowayinfault;butIknewmenwellenoughtoknowthatwhentheyfindthey&aos;vegivenatramamillion-oundbillwhentheythoughtitwasaone-ounder,theyareinafranticrageagainsthiminsteadofquarrelingwiththeirownnear-sightedness,astheyought。AsIaroachedthehousemyexcitementbegantoabate,forallwasquietthere,whichmademefeelrettysuretheblunderwasnotdiscoveredyet。Irang。Thesameservantaeared。Iaskedforthosegentlemen。

"Theyaregone。

"Thisinthelofty,coldwayofthatfellow&aos;stribe。

"Gone?Gonewhere?

"

"Onajourney。

"

"Butwhereabouts?

"

"TotheContinent,Ithink。

"

"TheContinent?

"

"Yes,sir。

"

"Whichway-bywhatroute?

"

"Ican&aos;tsay,sir。

"

"Whenwilltheybeback?

"

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