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乐文小说网>查太莱夫人的情人 英文原版 > 第七章(第1页)

第七章(第1页)

WhenConniewentuptoherbedroomshedidwhatshehadnotdoneforalongtime:tookoffallherclothes,andlookedatherselfnakedinthehugemirror。Shedidnotknowwhatshewaslookingfor,orat,verydefinitely,yetshemovedthelamptillitshonefullonher。

康妮上楼回到卧室,做了件许久未曾尝试的事情:脱掉所有衣服,对着大镜子端详起自己的裸体。她不清楚自己到底要寻觅什么,或欣赏什么,只是把灯移到近前,让光线洒满整个身体。

Andshethought,asshehadthoughtsooften,whatafrail,easilyhurt,ratherpatheticthingahumanbodyis,naked;somehowalittleunfinished,incomplete!

她陷入沉思,思考着以往就时常思考的问题,赤裸着的身体多么地脆弱,容易受伤,惹人怜爱,却有着不可言喻的欠缺,实在算不得完美!

Shehadbeensupposedtohaveratheragoodfigure,butnowshewasoutoffashion:alittletoofemale,notenoughlikeanadolescentboy。Shewasnotverytall,abitScottishandshort;butshehadacertainfluent,down-slippinggracethatmighthavebeenbeauty。Herskinwasfaintlytawny,herlimbshadacertainstillness,herbodyshouldhavehadafull,down-slippingrichness;butitlackedsomething。

她曾被认为拥有曲线玲珑的身材,但现在却有些落伍:女人味太浓,缺少几分少年的飒爽英姿。她个子不高,有几分苏格兰姑娘的娇小气质,但线条优美,凹凸有致,倒也是位俏丽佳人。她的皮肤呈浅褐色,举手投足轻柔舒缓,娇躯本应丰盈性感,但却缺少些什么。

Insteadofripeningitsfirm,down-runningcurves,herbodywasflatteningandgoingalittleharsh。Itwasasifithadnothadenoughsunandwarmth;itwasalittlegreyishandsapless。

日渐成熟的身体本应拥有更加挺拔流畅的曲线,但却背道而驰,变得有些扁平僵硬。它似乎缺少足够的阳光和热量,变得暗沉,没有活力。

Disappointedofitsrealwomanhood,ithadnotsucceededinbecomingboyish,andunsubstantial,andtransparent;insteadithadgoneopaque。

虽然这副躯体不满自己妩媚的女人味,但也无法变得像少年那般纤细轻盈,晶莹澄澈,相反却晦浊暗淡。

Herbreastswererathersmall,anddroppingpear-shaped。Buttheywereunripe,alittlebitter,withoutmeaninghangingthere。Andherbellyhadlostthefresh,roundgleamithadhadwhenshewasyoung,inthedaysofherGermanboy,whoreallylovedherphysically。Thenitwasyoungandexpectant,withareallookofitsown。Nowitwasgoingslack,andalittleflat,thinner,butwithaslackthinness。Herthighs,too,theyusedtolooksoquickandglimpsyintheirfemaleroundness,somehowtheytooweregoingflat,slack,meaningless。

丁香小乳垂落在胸前,如梨子般圆润。但它们尚未成熟,稍带苦涩,索然寡味地悬在那里。而她的腹部也褪去了昔日饱满圆润的光泽,当年的德国情郎曾为她的胴体神魂颠倒。那时,她的腹部细腻柔嫩,饱含着希望,拥有别具一格的美感。现在却变得松垮,略显扁平,失去往日的丰盈,又并不紧实。大腿也不若以往那般浑圆饱满,柔软细嫩,变得暗淡松弛,美感全失。

Herbodywasgoingmeaningless,goingdullandopaque,somuchinsignificantsubstance。Itmadeherfeelimmenselydepressedandhopeless。Whathopewasthere?Shewasold,oldattwenty-seven,withnogleamandsparkleintheflesh。Oldthroughneglectanddenial,yes,denial。Fashionablewomenkepttheirbodiesbrightlikedelicateporcelain,byexternalattention。Therewasnothinginsidetheporcelain;butshewasnotevenasbrightasthat。Thementallife!Suddenlyshehateditwitharushingfury,theswindle!

她的身体暗沉无光,失去应有的魅力,沦落成毫无活力的物质。这让她陷入苦闷绝望的深渊。希望究竟在何方?她不再青春洋溢,27岁便老态尽显,肉体并无半点光泽与亮度。即使回避和否认,也无法改变衰老的事实,没错,就算矢口否认也无济于事。追求时尚的贵妇们总通过悉心护理,把自己的娇躯保养得明艳照人,堪比娇美的瓷器。虽然瓷器内里空空如也,但她就连这点外表的光鲜都没有。精神生活!霎时间,她对精神生活恨得咬牙切齿,那彻头彻尾的空中楼阁!

Shelookedintheothermirror'sreflectionatherback,herwaist,herloins。Shewasgettingthinner,buttoheritwasnotbecoming。Thecrumpleofherwaistattheback,asshebentbacktolook,wasalittleweary;anditusedtobesogay-looking。Andthelongishslopeofherhaunchesandherbuttockshadlostitsgleamanditssenseofrichness。Gone!OnlytheGermanboyhadlovedit,andhewastenyearsdead,verynearly。Howtimewentby!Tenyearsdead,andshewasonlytwenty-seven。Thehealthyboywithhisfresh,clumsysensualitythatshehadthenbeensoscornfulof!Wherewouldshefinditnow?Itwasgoneoutofmen。Theyhadtheirpathetic,two-secondsspasmslikeMichaelis;butnohealthyhumansensuality,thatwarmsthebloodandfreshensthewholebeing。

她从另一面镜子中,审视着自己的脊背、腰肢以及臀部。她日渐消瘦,但瘦削的体型却与她格格不入。她扭回身,注意到腰部的折皱,顿觉灰心丧气,以往这腰肢是多么地艳丽动人。而修长的臀部曲线失去曾经的光彩,也不再圆润丰腴。不复存在!只有那位德国小伙曾为之倾倒,而再过不久,就是他十周年的忌辰。时光荏苒!昔日情郎故去已有十载,而她如今也仅有27岁。欢好之时,那健康壮硕的少年总显得青涩稚嫩,笨手笨脚,为此她曾经嗤之以鼻。可现在,去哪里找如此如意的情侣呢?男子汉早已绝迹。只剩下米凯利斯这种挺不过两秒的可怜虫,再也找不着精力旺盛的完整性爱,体验不到让血液沸腾、让身心振奋的美好感觉。

Stillshethoughtthemostbeautifulpartofherwasthelong-slopingfallofthehaunchesfromthesocketoftheback,andtheslumberous,roundstillnessofthebuttocks。Likehillocksofsand,theArabssay,softanddownward-slippingwithalongslope。Herethelifestilllingeredhoping。Butheretooshewasthinner,andgoingunripe,astringent。

不过,她仍觉得自己身体最美丽的部分是绵延起伏的臀部曲线,以腰眼处为起点,还有那饱满沉静的臀丘。正如阿拉伯人所说,就像沙堆般柔和舒缓地下降。生命唯一的希望仍存于此处。但就连这里也变得纤瘦,褪去成熟圆顺的美感。

Butthefrontofherbodymadehermiserable。Itwasalreadybeginningtoslacken,withaslacksortofthinness,almostwithered,goingoldbeforeithadeverreallylived。Shethoughtofthechildshemightsomehowbear。Wasshefit,anyhow?Sheslippedintohernightdress,andwenttobed,whereshesobbedbitterly。AndinherbitternessburnedacoldindignationagainstClifford,andhiswritingsandhistalk:againstallthemenofhissortwhodefraudedawomanevenofherownbody。

但身体的正面更使她难过不已。它已经开始变得松弛消瘦,近乎枯萎,还未曾体验过生活的美好,就已走向衰老。康妮想到自己或许还要诞下婴孩。这样的她是否还能做个合格的母亲?她穿上睡袍,卧在闺床,痛哭失声。酸楚中燃烧着愤懑的怒火,克利福德,他空洞的作品和伪善的言谈,还有所有跟他沆瀣一气的家伙们,康妮都对之深恶痛绝。那些臭男人只会欺骗女人的感情,甚至不会放过她们的身体。

Unjust!Unjust!Thesenseofdeepphysicalinjusticeburnedtoherverysoul。

不公平!这不公平!强烈的愤慨燃透身体,在灵魂深处肆虐。

Butinthemorning,allthesame,shewasupatseven,andgoingdownstairstoClifford。Shehadtohelphiminalltheintimatethings,forhehadnoman,andrefusedawoman-servant。Thehousekeeper'shusband,whohadknownhimasaboy,helpedhim,anddidanyheavylifting;butConniedidthepersonalthings,andshedidthemwillingly。Itwasademandonher,butshehadwantedtodowhatshecould。

可次日清晨,她同样要在七点准时起床,下楼去服侍克利福德。她必须照顾他梳洗更衣这等私事,因为克利福德没有贴身男仆,又拒绝差遣女佣。女管家的丈夫看着他长大,帮他做些搬搬抬抬的力气活,而康妮则负责照料他的一切私务,倒也做得心甘情愿。克利福德需要她这样做,她也愿意尽到妻子的责任。

SoshehardlyeverwentawayfromWragby,andneverformorethanadayortwo;whenMrs。Betts,thehousekeeper,attendedtoClifford。He,aswasinevitableinthecourseoftime,tookalltheserviceforgranted。Itwasnaturalheshould。

因此,她几乎寸步不离拉格比,即使离开,也最多在外逗留一两天,那时便将克利福德交托给女管家贝茨太太。而他也把妻子的照顾当作是理所应当,时间一久,有这样的想法不可避免。他这样想也是天性使然。

Andyet,deepinsideherself,asenseofinjustice,ofbeingdefrauded,hadbeguntoburninConnie。Thephysicalsenseofinjusticeisadangerousfeeling,onceitisawakened。Itmusthaveoutlet,oriteatsawaytheoneinwhomitisaroused。PoorClifford,hewasnottoblame。Hiswasthegreatermisfortune。Itwasallpartofthegeneralcatastrophe。

但现在,康妮心底燃起怒火,感到被欺骗,而忿忿不平。愤懑的感觉一旦苏醒,就会变得异常危险。必须找到发泄的途径,否则就会被它生生吞噬。可怜的克利福德,这并非他的过错。比起康妮,他更加不幸。这都不过是战争浩劫的余波而已。

Andyetwashenotinawaytoblame?Thislackofwarmth,thislackofthesimple,warm,physicalcontact,washenottoblameforthat?Hewasneverreallywarm,norevenkind,onlythoughtful,considerate,inawell-bred,coldsortofway!Butneverwarmasamancanbewarmtoawoman,asevenConnie'sfathercouldbewarmtoher,withthewarmthofamanwhodidhimselfwell,andintendedto,butwhostillcouldcomfortitwomanwithabitofhismasculineglow。

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