I proceeded: at last my way opened; the trees thinned a little; presently I beheld a railing; then the house—scarce; by this dim light; distinguishable from the trees; so dank and green were its decaying walls。 Entering a portal; fastened only by a latch; I stood amidst a space of enclosed ground; from which the wood swept away in a semicircle。 There were no flowers; no garden…beds; only a broad gravel…walk girdling a grass…plat; and this set in the heavy frame of the forest。 The house presented two pointed gables in its front; the windows were latticed and narrow: the front door was narrow too; one step led up to it。 The whole looked; as the host of the Rochester Arms had said; “quite a desolate spot。” It was as still as a church on a week…day: the pattering rain on the forest leaves was the only sound audible in its vicinage。
“Can there be life here?” I asked。
Yes; life of some kind there was; for I heard a movement—that narrow front…door was unclosing; and some shape was about to issue from the grange。
It opened slowly: a figure came out into the twilight and stood on the step; a man without a hat: he stretched forth his hand as if to feel whether it rained。 Dusk as it was; I had recognised him—it was my master; Edward Fairfax Rochester; and no other。
I stayed my step; almost my breath; and stood to watch him—to examine him; myself unseen; and alas! to him invisible。 It was a sudden meeting; and one in which rapture was kept well in check by pain。 I had no difficulty in restraining my voice from exclamation; my step from hasty advance。
His form was of the same strong and stalwart contour as ever: his port was still erect; his heir was still raven black; nor were his features altered or sunk: not in one year’s space; by any sorrow; could his athletic strength be quelled or his vigorous prime blighted。 But in his countenance I saw a change: that looked desperate and brooding—that reminded me of some wronged and fettered wild beast or bird; dangerous to approach in his sullen woe。 The caged eagle; whose gold…ringed eyes cruelty has extinguished; might look as looked that sightless Samson。
And; reader; do you think I feared him in his blind ferocity?—if you do; you little know me。 A soft hope blest with my sorrow that soon I should dare to drop a kiss on that brow of rock; and on those lips so sternly sealed beneath it: but not yet。 I would not accost him yet。
He descended the one step; and advanced slowly and gropingly towards the grass…plat。 Where was his daring stride now? Then he paused; as if he knew not which way to turn。 He lifted his hand and opened his eyelids; gazed blank; and with a straining effort; on the sky; and toward the amphitheatre of trees: one saw that all to him was void darkness。 He stretched his right hand (the left arm; the mutilated one; he kept hidden in his bosom); he seemed to wish by touch to gain an idea of what lay around him: he met but vacancy still; for the trees were some yards off where he stood。 He relinquished the endeavour; folded his arms; and stood quiet and mute in the rain; now falling fast on his uncovered head。 At this moment John approached him from some quarter。
“Will you take my arm; sir?” he said; “there is a heavy shower ing on: had you not better go in?”
“Let me alone;” was the answer。
John withdrew without having observed me。 Mr。 Rochester now tried to walk about: vainly;—all was too uncertain。 He groped his way back to the house; and; re…entering it; closed the door。
I now drew near and knocked: John’s wife opened for me。 “Mary;” I said; “how are you?”
She started as if she had seen a ghost: I calmed her。 To her hurried “Is it really you; miss; e at this late hour to this lonely place?” I answered by taking her hand; and then I followed her into the kitchen; where John now sat by a good fire。 I explained to them; in few words; that I had heard all which had happened since I left Thornfield; and that I was e to see Mr。 Rochester。 I asked John to go down to the turn…pike…house; where I had dismissed the chaise; and bring my trunk; which I had left there: and then; while I removed my bon and shaary as to whether I could be acmodated at the Manor House for the night; and finding that arrangements to that effect; though difficult; would not be impossible; I informed her I should stay。 Just at this moment the parlour…bell rang。
“When you go in;” said I; “tell your master that a person wishes to speak to him; but do not give my name。”
“I don’t think he will see you;” she answered; “he refuses everybody。”
When she returned; I inquired what he had said。 “You are to send in your name and your business;” she replied。 She then proceeded to fill a glass with water; and place it on a tray; together with candles。
“Is that what he rang for?” I asked。
“Yes: he always has candles brought in at dark; though he is blind。”
“Give the tray to me; I will carry it in。”
I took it from her hand: she pointed me out the parlour door。 The tray shook as I held it; the water spilt from the glass; my heart struck my ribs loud and fast。 Mary opened the door for me; and shut it behind me。
This parlour looked gloomy: a neglected handful of fire burnt low in the grate; and; leaning over it; with his head supported against the high; old…fashioned mantelpiece; appeared the blind tenant of the room。 His old dog; Pilot; lay on one side; removed out of the way; and coiled up as if afraid of being inadvertently trodden upon。 Pilot pricked up his ears when I came in: then he jumped up with a yelp and a whine; and bounded towards me: he almost knocked the tray from my hands。 I set it on the table; then patted him; and said softly; “Lie down!” Mr。 Rochester turned mechanically to see what the motion was: but as he saw nothing; he returned and sighed。
“Give me the water; Mary;” he said。
I approached him with the now only half…filled glass; Pilot followed me; still excited。
“What is the matter?” he inquired。
“Down; Pilot!” I again said。 He checked the water on its way to his lips; and seemed to listen: he drank; and put the glass down。 “This is you; Mary; is it not?”
“Mary is in the kitchen;” I answered。
He put out his hand with a quick gesture; but not seeing where I stood; he did not touch me。 “Who is this? Who is this?” he demanded; trying; as it seemed; to SEE with those sightless eyes— unavailing and distressing attempt! “Answer me—speak again!” he ordered; imperiously and aloud。
“Will you have a little more water; sir? I spilt half of what was in the glass;” I said。
“Who is it? What is it? Who speaks?”
“Pilot knows me; and John and Mary know I am here。 I came only this evening;” I answered。
“Great God!—what delusion has e over me? What sweet madness has seized me?”
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