乐文小说网

第11部分（第3页）

often　proceeds　after　this　wise：　A　spirit　seems　to　pass　before　my　face。　I

feel　an　extreme　heat　like　the　blast　from　an　engine。　It　is　the　embodiment

of　evil。　I　must　have　had　it　first　after　the　day　that　I　nearly　got　burnt。

Another　spirit　which　visits　me　often　brings　a　sensation　of　cool

dampness；　such　as　one　feels　on　a　chill　November　night　when　the　window　is

open。　The　spirit　stops　just　beyond　my　reach；　sways　back　and　forth　like　a

creature　in　grief。　My　blood　is　chilled；　and　seems　to　freeze　in　my　veins。

I　try　to　move；　but　my　body　is　still；　and　I　cannot　even　cry　out。　After　a

while　the　spirit　passes　on；　and　I　say　to　myself　shudderingly；　〃That　was

Death。　I　wonder　if　he　has　taken　her。〃　The　pronoun　stands　for　my　Teacher。

In　my　dreams　I　have　sensations；　odours；　tastes　and　ideas　which　I　do　not

remember　to　have　had　in　reality。　Perhaps　they　are　the　glimpses　which　my

mind　catches　through　the　veil　of　sleep　of　my　earliest　babyhood。　I　have

heard　〃the　trampling　of　many　waters。〃　Sometimes　a　wonderful　light　visits

me　in　sleep。　Such　a　flash　and　glory　as　it　is！　I　gaze　and　gaze　until　it

vanishes。　I　smell　and　taste　much　as　in　my　waking　hours；　but　the　sense　of

touch　plays　a　less　important　part。　In　sleep　I　almost　never　grope。　No　one

guides　me。　Even　in　a　crowded　street　I　am　self…sufficient；　and　I　enjoy

an　independence　quite　foreign　to　my　physical　life。　Now　I　seldom　spell　on

my　fingers；　and　it　is　still　rarer　for　others　to　spell　into　my　hand。　My

mind　acts　independent　of　my　physical　organs。　I　am　delighted　to　be　thus

endowed；　if　only　in　sleep；　for　then　my　soul　dons　its　winged　sandals　and

joyfully　joins　the　throng　of　happy　beings　who　dwell　beyond　the　reaches

of　bodily　sense。

The　moral　inconsistency　of　dreams　is　glaring。　Mine　grow　less　and　less

accordant　with　my　proper　principles。　I　am　nightly　hurled　into　an

uhical　medley　of　extremes。　I　must　either　defend　another　to　the　last

drop　of　my　blood　or　condemn　him　past　all　repenting。　I　mit　murder；

sleeping；　to　save　the　lives　of　others。　I　ascribe　to　those　I　love　best

acts　and　words　which　it　mortifies　me　to　remember；　and　I　cast　reproach

after　reproach　upon　them。　It　is　fortunate　for　our　peace　of　mind　that

most　wicked　dreams　are　soon　forgotten。　Death；　sudden　and　awful；　strange

loves　and　hates　remorselessly　pursued；　cunningly　plotted　revenge；　are

seldom　more　than　dim　haunting　recollections　in　the　morning；　and　during

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